Why I [think I] want to be a Neurosurgeon: reason #2

The day that current 4th year medical students around the US found out about where they would spend the next 3+ years of their lives training during residency happened Thursday, March 18th, 2010. This epic day was excellent for one of my fourth year friends, who got her first choice in General Surgery and good for another one of my fourth year friends, who got her third choice in General Surgery also. Of course, since I am somewhat convinced that Neurosurgery is for me, I eagerly scanned the posted match list for people matching into Neurosurgery. It was both exciting and extremely frightening. These feelings sent me into a frenzy of setting-up-appointments-with-the-Neurosurgery-powers-that-be, in order to frankly assess whether or not I am a good enough candidate to 1)match ANYwhere...you best believe that I will take what I can get and 2)maybe/possibly/hopefully/please God match at my current top choice. One of these meetings happens on Friday. Another, hopefully, next week Tuesday. My resume has been updated and printed on paper watermarked, my goals put in fresh perspective and my fingers appropriately crossed. Which leads me to this post:

Reason 2: the specialized, very technical aspect of Neurosurgery is appealing to me. I enjoy working with my hands and spending time on tasks that require physical manipulation. It gives me an incredible sense of accomplishment and pride when I am able to complete said task, with the involvement of much elbow grease. For example, as an undergrad, I worked part time in one of my school's cafeterias. This job involved sorting plates, cups, cutlery and other dining hall paraphernalia off a rapidly moving conveyor belt, ridding them of the drink and food scraps they had left and placing them onto the car-wash-for-utensils that then cleaned them. At the start of the 4 hour shift, there would be the odd bowl of half eaten cereal and empty juice glass, but eventually, piles upon piles of plates and silverware would be jammed onto the belt. Although a very simplistic example of technical skill, I loved every moment of this job. The manual dexterity required to manipulate forks, knives, cups and glasses of all sizes, odd shaped bowls and plates, stack them together in like piles, remove all traces of solid material from their surfaces, place them into the dishwasher machine on steroids and do it incredibly fast - while hot steam billowed into my face and even more objects jetted in on the belt was insane. (In a very good way). Each shift, I would challenge myself to not drop a single utensil, or allow a plate to pass by unnoticed.
Exciting also, is the idea of being highly specialized in a field, performing complex procedures with meticulous attention to detail, over and over again until I am absolutely amazing at what I do. Could the satisfaction that comes from knowing you spent hours scrupulously dissecting away a tumor/placing screws for spinal fusion/establishing hemostasis with a job well done be greater? I think not.

Why I [think I] want to be a Neurosurgeon: reason #1

There are two fourth year medical students on the Psychiatry rotation with me, and, during the shuttle ride home from the hospital today, I was talking to one of these medical students about residency applications, rank lists and match day - this year to be held on March 18th. The conversation, being a good one, fraught with such expressions as "I can't believe it's happening" and "It's out of my hands now" and "Am I really going to be a doctor in 4 months?" got me thinking about my own impending doom/application process, which starts July 6th, on my first Neurosurgery sub-internship. And in the course of my soul searching and deep inner reflection, I decided I needed to put into words why I think I should spend the next 7 years AFTER medical school being sleep deprived and slaving away long hours in the hospital days into months.

Reason 1: Working hard makes me happy. Working extremely hard makes me even happier. This is not to say I do not appreciate a lazy day at home with naught but a book in hand. I do. I just don't feel the need to "have a life outside of Medicine", or "Maintain an active social life" or the many other good reasons that people quote when deciding on a lifestyle vs. (for lack of a better word) non-lifestyle specialty. I want to be consumed by my work. I want to wake up early, spend a substantial portion of my day working hard at what I love, and go home feeling fulfilled, because I brought it all to the table. Will this naive, idealistic and romanticized dream of an honest day's work change as I morph into yet another bitter, overworked and underpaid resident? Maybe. I hope not...but we will see.