Anatomy 101: How to be a gunner

1. As soon as you walk into lab, begin dissection on the cadaver as though it was meant exclusively for your learning purposes. Group members not there? That's okay - they can just learn by osmosis from you.

2. Ensure that you hog the scalpel. Other student's hands were not destined for glory as yours were. Besides, they can only hope and dream of the academic heights you will attain.

3. When a faculty member comes around to see if you need help, dazzle them with your intellectual prowess. Act as though this is the exam, right then and there. This way, you are sure to be placed on their teacher's pet list.

4. If the faculty member likes to show you structures by asking questions, be sure to scream out as many responses as you possibly can in the shortest time frame. Never mind if s/he asked for a muscle - throw in a few blood vessels and nerves for good measure. Don't worry if you mention a few structures that aren't in the part of the body you are dissecting...your faculty member will understand that you are merely being didactic.

5. Insist that you correct everyone in your group when they do not know or give the wrong answer to the questions. Be patient - not everyone is at the level you are, and they may misunderstand your altruism. However, you are doing this for them. Always remember that.

6. If you can, tuck the anatomy atlases and dissection books under the cadaver where they cannot be seen. As in 5 above, you are only doing your group members a favor - how can they learn if they have the answers right in front of them? (Be sure to take a peak at the book yourself when they are not looking. This is only so you can better serve in your capacity as anatomy group coordinator).

7. Elaborate on your study techniques, how and why they work for you - preferably to the whole class. Explain that this is the tried and tested study manual for them. You will soon be publishing it and you are doing them a favor by letting them have it free.

8. Always leave the lab last. In order to be a leader, you must first be a servant. (Remember to make sure the faculty observe this).

May you continue to gun as you have always gunned.