This time will be different

This time will be different.
This time I have foil paper.
I put it on my head, it protects my brain.
Wrapped three times around
not twice-
three times. With the end tucked in at the middle.
It provides
maximum security this way.

They have attempted to enter my house three times now.
I know this because the silent alarm
that is hooked up to my medial temporal lobe
to my
corpus amygdaloideum
went off each time.
(they don't know I know).

I have TOP secrets.
Top security secrets that the government wants.
They put
surveillance cameras on my street
at the grocery store in my favorite coffee cup my wife is in on it too.

I am a lone warrior in a world gone mad.
The new delivery man making his rounds
has his eye on me.
The deli across the street
recently opened
with the fat free muffins
has a room full of spies
working nine to five
tapping my phone lines
HA! Joke's on them
I communicate via the mind.

Last year I developed a math equation
an equation of cataclysmic proportions
unlocking the secrets of time
this equation will
change the fabric of time and space
as we know it.
So you see. I have TOP secrets.
Top secrets that the government wants.

Men in long gray overcoats
and
blackened sunglasses
working for the CIA
for the FBI
hover on street corners
communicating over the private satellite links
they have installed in microchips
at the base of their brains.
They pretend to read newspapers
They hold long conversations with their mothers
but
the newspapers are upside down
and
they say the same thing in a loop
3 minutes 33 seconds.
(I timed it).

Trying to get past my defenses.
Might as well give up now.
Almost got me last week
when I ventured out for supplies
running low.
A lone warrior
in a world gone mad.
But
this time will be different.
This time I have foil paper.