Third year - it continues

So continue the blessed rotations of third year.
I am doing two months of Pituitary/Endoscopy in a state that took 11 hours to drive to. I work three days a week and live in the basement of a couple that takes in medical students, residents and other stragglers of the medical persuasion for a fee. (I'm assuming there is a fee...the money that changed hands between program and host did not involve my hands. Or any other body parts, for that matter).
In any case, I have A LOT of free time on my hands.
Incidentally, the two attendings I am working with during this rotation are away at a conference this week. So. I get an additional week off.
The downsides to this rotation
1. Way too much free time
2. Very bad phone reception at this place I'm staying
3. I know no one here

The upside:
1. Way too much free time
2. Did I mention I have way too much free time?

So, I've been working out. A LOT. Like, twice a day a lot. Don't judge me - it beats watching an entire season of Breaking Bad. Per day. Of which, I am fully capable.

Speaking of the gym:
Is your workout so intense, so totally consuming, that you - weightlifter guy/gal, must insist on throwing your dumbbells onto the floor after each set? Yes. I'm talking to you. You there, in the wife beater, carrying the Costco [so you know they have like, 40 of these at home] gallon jug of water. Is that your way of announcing to the gym world that you just pressed three times your own weight? Is that how you mark your gym territory? Don't answer - I don't really care. If you do not have the strength at the end of a set to lower your weights to the floor in a controlled and civilized manner, you should be lifting a lighter weight. No matter how many pounds of gnarly muscle you have on your shoulders.

And:
What is going on in the mind of the person who steps onto the treadmill, cranks the incline up to 100% and then hangs on for dear life? They must realize that defeats the entire purpose of the incline. And what a sight! Huffing, puffing, the sweat pouring down - honey, don't bother. You're really going at, like, 10% incline right now. And that's being generous.

So, yeah. Working out. Quite a bit. What I need to do - and God help me, I will - is use all the extra time to study and work on some solid research projects. Like a real neurosurgery resident.

For now though, I have three episodes of Scandal chapters of Neurosurgery Text Book to read.

Goodnight.

Happy Birthday, deadrocketcow

29. The countup continues.

I still hate presentations and other thoughts

I am close to the end of this three month Pediatric Neurosurgery rotation in this here, mid-western state and as such, I have a presentation to work on. This presentation is due on Monday. Yes.
I cheated and asked one of the attendings for topic suggestions. So now I have one: X-linked congenital hydrocephalus. I also have 5 solid hours of free time today before my OR case in the mid afternoon. A great opportunity to get some work done.
So, of course, I'm blogging.
My surgical skills are improving, and in turn, so is my confidence. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a quiet/shy/reserved sorta gal. I err on the side of caution. If there is any doubt in my mind about something, I hold back and assume that I will be wrong. This is not your classical surgeon, and more specifically - neurosurgoen personality, which, as my program director (Dr. R) has reminded me over and over again, hampers my learning.
If I don't "take over" the case in the OR, the attending assumes I don't want to. I just assume that "taking over" like that is rude. If I don't have anything worthwile to say, I keep silent. My attendings think I'm not interested. I've never been one to always have something to say. You know, like that person. In my [humble] opinion, those that have the most to say, usually know the least.
However, my co-resident here is pretty much the exact opposite. Assertive is putting it mildly. There are other choice adjectives I could use to describe her, but that's material for another post. Out of a desire to survive this rotation and not be her doormat, my personality has taken some sharpening. Dr. R would be proud.
What else has improved?
My neurosurgical knowlege. My ability to communicate with patients and their parents in terms they can understand. Working with difficult people. Compromising. This rotation has made me a better neurosurgeon (in training) AND person.
I now know what it is to be so tired that you can't think.
To be so tired that you would rather sleep than eat (despite being ferociously hungry).
My patience has been tried. To the moon and then back again.
But I'm still here. Right?
After this rotation, I pretty much have no reason to ever complain about work ever again. It has been rough.
As such, I am counting down the days for my return to my home program, where I will begin a one month Endovascular rotation.
I'll miss everyone in the department. Everyone except my co-resident. But, like I said, that's material for another post.

I guess I should work on my presentation now.

Catching up

So, it seems that almost 8 months have gone by since I last posted. How did that happen? At the start of the year, I was half way through my second year of residency and was tired of being at the bottom of the totem pole. Woe was me. Now, I am three weeks into my third year and still feel like I am at the bottom of the totem pole (surprise!).
My third year is divided into four, three month rotations both at my home institution and at other institutions. This first rotation is Pediatric Neurosurgery at [redacted] hospital in mid-western state. The schedule has taken some adjustment - home call is both a blessing and a curse - so far, mostly curse...
Getting woken up every hour and or having to come into the hospital to see a sick child and or operate for hours at a time and THEN having to come back the next day (provided it was not so late at night that I just had to stay in the hospital) and work another full day the next morning is KILLER. It is NOT normal. Perhaps it is punishment for all those times I complained about taking in-house/overnight call.
Aside from that, I am operating a lot, learning tons and, can you believe it - working out 5 days a week. Needless to say, it doesn't leave much time for anything else. Sorry Mom.
I get up at 3:45 am, work out, get to work, leave anywhere between 6 pm and 9 pm depending on whether or not I am on call and try to be in bed by 7:30 pm. I kid you not.
But it's just three months. Right?
Right.

Things I need to do by the end of Sunday
1. Call my parents
2. Log my OR cases
3. Catch up on my research project
4. Do laundry
5. Replace the hubcap on my right front tire
6. And, as always, read, read, read.


Until the next time.

New Year and such

I'm tired.
Tired of being at the bottom of the totem pole. Of always having to grin and bear it. Of always being in the wrong, always having to apologize, always being the one who does the stuff that nobody else wants to do.

"Hey, the surgical PA is not going to be around for the next 3 weeks to write the H and P's on the pre-op patients or write the chief resident's post-op orders."
"That's ok. We have drc."
"But what about when the surgical PA leaves? You know she's moving jobs, right?"
"Yes. Drc will do it. Speaking of which, can you tell drc she's covering next weekend's call instead of A? She was post call the day we made the schedule for the entire next 6 months, but we just went ahead and made it anyway, we didn't have time to wait."

Just shoot me.

I suppose I talked to M about this stuff way more than I realized. And now, I have no one to complain to, to release all that anger and frustration before it drives me nuts. Which, I guess it is.

That's not entirely true. I have my Mom. And my Dad. And my siblings. And C. And J.

I just want to get smart already. And have more power and authority (You WILL respect my authority!). And that means I have to read. More.

And be more vocal. According to Dr. R.

Argh! Happy New Year, friends.