Fragments

question;
do you see me? do you see me here? do you see me as I see you? do you want me? do you want me now? do you want me as I want you?

I came back to school today at 8am. I slept right through until 5pm, got up and turned on my computer for my daily sustenance of msn, aim and other people's blogs. A few hours later I got up because I was hungry, and so I ate.

It was raining today. Cold unrelenting buckets of H2O running down my windows - what a sound. I am dismal. Melancholy is such a beautiful word. I feel the quiet of my room pressing down on me from the ceiling, from the walls, and I wonder if the silence will slowly drive me insane. I do not wish to speak - speaking will only disturb the silence that has accumulated like dust on my skin. I feel as though I could sit in bed forever, I feel as though I will remain ageless; unmoving and untouched by time.
My mind is slowly emptying itself out. It is like a black hole now. A space that once was filled. Only blankness-
blank blackness, black blankness...

I cannot describe to you this sensation. I am floating in the dark. Pure utter, darkness. It is pure because there is only dark. It is utter because it is complete- and I like it. I want to stay in this blackness forever.