Crawling in my skin

Fade in

Thoughts of things that were; things that used to be; things that could have been. A thousand dry tears. Each one of them silent. Questions with answers that come painfully, slowly - they float with heavy wings, but make no sound.
A sigh, an outward glimpse, but an overall resilience that is somewhat in vain, somewhat untrue. Laughter, smiles. Ice-cream after a long day. Conversations that are two thirds aware, carefree; one third automatic. Life continues and the pieces that make it up fall into place, time moves steadily onward. The present moves on into the future without a backward glance. The past skulks into the realm of the forgotten...
Sun rise, sun set. Fall is here. Seconds, minutes and hours stretching off into eternity. The lingering remains of a dull ache that persists with an uncanny resistance. Frequencies of sound, of light, of pain, of sadness. Long, low and lasting.
Tomorrow will keep on coming. New days will be born, old days will die.

Fade out

Untitled

I never thought that love could fade
that we could ever part
I trusted all your promises
and gave you all my heart

But now I see the coldness there
that lurks beneath your smile
I know that you will leave me
in just a little while

Your touch is soft but meaningless
your kisses tell me lies
there isn't any need for words
the truth is in your eyes

Oh! I shan't plead with you to stay
or let you see me cry
once the flame of love burns low
it's best to let it die

When it's time for our last kiss
my broken heart I'll hide
I will smile and you'll never know
the hurt that's deep inside

Modus Operandi

Time to build me some armor again. The last batch I hitched up had a few weak points. But I have been to the blacksmith and I tell you friends and neighbors, I have the formulae. I'm using hot forge and only the strongest of tools. Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, I'm building me some high stress, durable, no wear, no tear body armor.
Aint nobody gonna tear it down. Aint no flaming arrows gonna penetrate this armor.
My rules, my life - from now on baby. It's a win win situation. My world is my world. I create the guidelines, the bounderies, and it is my modus operandi. You don't like it? See if I care.
It's back to that town that I love so well. Back to the streets of sarcasm, the corridors of cynicism.
Back to being me.

Silent watchers

I have pressed that button, and the light somewhere in its plastic cavity is glowing. A similar light glowing under another plastic button assures me that the elevator is coming to me. I am assured this because it has an arrow on it pointing to where my feet are on the floor. I am trusting that the people who designed this elevator (or the button) and I are using the same co-ordinate system.
It is here. It opens and there are people in it. I hesitate, wondering if my face and involuntary step forward have betrayed my intentions. Should I stay put and feign a sudden interest in the poster affixed to the wall next to me? Should I make like I forgot something in my room and rush off? Will I be able to squeeze myself into the last remaining spot in that crammed-full-as-if-we-were-sardines elevator? The door is closing, I have to act. One clumsy hand extends, stops the door mid closure. I am in.
Silence. You man next to me with the earphones, what are you thinking? You obvious freshman behind me, wipe that smirk off your face. I am a good person, really I am. I want to be a doctor someday....please tell me the seat of my pants isn't wet. Tell me that strong body odour is not coming from me, tell me something, anything, please.
The doors are open. Sweet, sweet release...

Har de har har har

I have the lack of sleep bug. I am able to sleep only when it is inconvenient for me - say during class, or in a meeting. When it is convenient - like now, sleep eludes me. It stands outside of my window just out of reach and mocks me. It says to me, I will be back when you least need me, like during chemistry tomorrow. I will come visit when you are working...
So what do I do? I read Terry Pratchett, that's what. Right now, I'm reading soul music. Well, not right now at this exact moment, obviously, I'm typing. But you know what I mean. It's a good book, Death decides he needs to think and goes on vacation.
Outside and far away, the world is turning and me being one of the cogs (har de har har har) that keep it working, I realise that everything, after all, is not lost.
So, friends, when it's time to sleep, think about deadrocketcow out in the land of wide awake, and get up an hour early. Maybe sleep will come in through the window and lend me that hour.

2nd year at Malory towers uhh, Brown University

So. It's back to this joint. Back to luvin that V-dubin food, walking the streets of Thayer with a gleam in my eye and a bounce in my stride... No really, I'm going to neuroscience, and what could be better than that?
So, you ask, what classes am I taking? Well, I'll tell you ladies and gentlemen in big and well, white letters, codes and everything included.
BN0103 - Neural Systems
SI0010 - American Sign Language
CG0009 - Quantitative Methods in Psychology
CH0033 - Inorganic Chemistry
Notice the order, ladies and gentlemen, and take note. Chemistry is my favorite class. From the other direction.
What more can I say? Let the games begin? Show time? Whatever the case. I'm glad to be back.

Ode to Stephen King

Stephen King can write. Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbours. That dude has skills. I'm talking about major skills here - not just your ordinary I feel like writing today so I will skills, I mean skills that could get somebody shot.
That dude floats my boat, he rocks my world. And by that, friends and neighbours, you know I mean he keeps my eyes glued to those pages till that back cover is reached (soft, cause it's cheaper that way). Give me an S.K book anyday and I will love you for life.
And that's the truth.

Ps - Everything's eventual.